Babbling #2 Beware the penguins and bunnies.
Have you ever seen those beer commercials where the guy's sitting there, just minding his own business, enjoying a beer like any good-hearted American, and the penguin comes after his beer!!!! It's his beer for crying out loud! He bought it. So, anyways, the little monster chases the dude everywhere, even into the Amazon to be captured by his followers!
That penguin needs to get a job and pay for his own damn beer. Now, you've probably thinking where the bunnies come into this. Well bunnies, are homicidal maniacs. Let's examine the evidence shall we? In both Monty Python's search for the Holy Grail, and on talk Soup, a bunny attacked and killed multiple people. Still not convinced? Well, there was even a book written, where a rabbit was a carrot-sucking vampire. C'mon people, face the facts.
Those adorable, innocent penguin and bunnies you all love are in fact evil and plotting to take over the world. How you ask? Well, by being the spokes animals for major companies, through a food franchise, or by taking over a major holiday.
The facts, A soft-ware company reportedly has a penguin as it's mascot/spokes animal. Twisted. They're going to take over your computer and hypnotize you into submitting to their will.
Next, Easter. The Easter Bunny, bunny-shaped candy. It's a conspiracy. They've taken over a major holiday acknowledged by millions, and the companies that make our beloved candy. *Sniff* When will it end??
Well, you have now been enlightened. Warn others, and trust no cute animals, they're just out to get you. Support all natural predators. now for your Moment of Clarity. Get ready, think hard, alrighty.
If you're drinking apple juice and it's warm, odds are, it ain't apple juice.
This has been a Misunderstood Teenage Girl production.