Dead Rated- PG

It was all a blur. It had happened so fast. Now she lay on the floor, the cold, bar hardwood unpurposely straitening her spine. The room was dark, save the occasional flash of lightening from the ominous storm outside.

It flashed again. The room was filled for an instant, bright and strange with shadowing and coloring in keen contrasts.

But she didn't notice any of this. Her mind had wandered far away, held to that place by an unknown force, or maybe she just didn't want to come back. It was quite possible after what had happened, what she did, what she allowed herself to do. Everyone told her it wasn't her fault, she could have stopped it, but she could have, should have, but didn't. Now she lived with the burden.

Her clothing rustled as she shifted onto her stomach, her cheek now positioned against the floor. Eyes blank masks, hiding what she cared to forget, but couldn't. No, she could never forget.

Never forget the look on his face, the blood on her own hands, the immense terror in everyone's eyes. Nothing would be the same.

The spell had gone too far. Her fury long past the edge. Two dangerous elements the spelled catastrophe. But at that point, she had been far past reason, and no one could have stopped her if they had tried.

Everyone told her he had deserved it. One snide remark too many. But that couldn't have justified anything even if she had believed it- which she didn't. It had been her fault more than his. She could have tried harder to keep her anger in check, hold onto reason. But it was too late. And regrets did nothing for her- or him; wherever he was.

It would never be better if she believed the lies.

For she had killed Xellos, but Filia's soul was what was truly dead.